| greater things |
[Dec. 24th, 2007|02:45 am] |
Have you ever had a moment where you just see yourself in the mirror and think. I was made for greater things than this? It happened tonight. I was brushing my teeth in my closet of a bathroom, looking at the vomit green tub and toilet. I am better than this.
It was almost like a manifestation of my dreams right there in the mirror. I saw a gigantic walk-in closet with tailored suits and shirts, enough to go for months without repeating a thing. A truck that is always clean and filled with gas. And not having to forgo a meal just to be able to drive to work. A bank account that is well padded and that automatically takes a couple hundred dollars a week and puts it into my retirement.
This is a speed bump. Like Eric on the Irvin Hall football team. Just there to slow you down a bit. Not really do any damage, just meant to set you back a smidge. I'm tired. I want to be able to let rudder run around during the day, and not have to keep her in a cage, because it is too damn cold outside, and not let her out in the house, because she's a lab and will literally eat my homework...if I still had homework.
I should be somewhere, where I am doing the weather all the time, where my skills and visions are challenged where my ideas are taken seriously. I want respect and recognition. You have to earn those things, but I am tired of wiping off my nose and getting nothing in return. I put in long hours sometimes to get crap done and because we have a 2 person weather team. Then I get told to limit the overtime. I am living in poverty and it has to stop.
I am meant for greater things than this. But when will my ship come in and take me to a better place? I feel like I am stranded on a desert Island and a ship keeps passing by on the horizon, and it doesn't matter what I do...I could light all the rum and the trees on fire but the ship just keeps circling keeping me in perpetual hope that something -or someone could save me at any moment. |
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| Hunter D. Kelly |
[Dec. 6th, 2007|01:30 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sleepy | ] |
I made a new friend recently. Well...kinda sorta, anyway. He's pretty cool, very similar to me in a lot of ways, and very different in others. We both are from the east coast, have summer birthdays, a few siblings, same middle initial, he likes to surf, motocross, extreme sports and stuff like that. Let me get into a little more detail about Hunter. I met him sober, tonight, with my friend Jen at work. We were all hanging out at the station. He's tall like me, blond-ish hair, blue eyes...I mean seriously you'd think we were twins or related or something. Although the big difference is...the guy is a jerk. I mean without a doubt you know he's from New York and his attitude reflects it.
He's not afraid to say what comes to his mind, he is well aware that he is good looking and uses it whenever he can. I mean you should see this dude at a party. He's was flirting all over the place, hitting on almost every girl in the room and not in a real classy way either. I mean 100% he's an ass. Oddly enough I get along with him.
I think he even got a date with one of the girls I work with, after meeting her once! I should take notes. -Or pick his brain. After doing some research on the local ski spot, Chris and I were planning on going skiing this weekend when the place opens. It looks like Hunter is going to go as well, although he will be snow boarding. So maybe I'll talk to him there and see what his secret is. |
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| Maybe I'm just not putting myself out there |
[Nov. 29th, 2007|06:27 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  weird | ] |
I realized tonight, that I just may not be advertising myself well enough. This is all while I am standing in my kitchen cooking.
So similar to my Girlfriend Wanted I wrote a few months ago, I thought I would try to market myself.
23 year old, television personality with high salary potential. Likes to drink and be social. Enjoys quiet time at home, and not so quiet time as well.
Can perform vehicle maintenance and in some cases repair. Boat builder and repair, fiberglass and wood. Construction experience. Framing, drywall, painting, electrical, some plumbing, interior housework. Can learn almost anything new.
Great in the kitchen...likes to cook, bake and be daring and to create gourmet food. Healthy eater and likes to exercise.
Enjoys the outdoors, the ocean, all seasons, but mainly summer. Likes outdoor sports and recreational activities. Great with kids and animals. Has high career goals. Great work ethic. Takes initiative in most situations.
I think that about does it. |
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| High School and Grey's anatomy |
[Nov. 15th, 2007|10:40 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
We really never grow up.
Stop and think about it. And then look around at your job or wherever. Cliques still exist. The kid who moved in from out of town is still treated like an outcast. He is judged. People make assumptions based on little or no information. Whatever it is, they think they know what kind of person he is...and then treats him accordingly.
I am a 23 year old successful man. I am on television. I am good at forecasting the weather. People think that I am good looking and hire me based on my looks. People think that I am rich and my parents gave me everything and I never had to do a day of hard work or manual labor in my life. People think that I get what I want and that I am spoiled.
I wore a band uniform in High School. I was 165 pounds, I parted my hair to the side and I didn't like sports. I was there with a bunch of people at the top of my class. I wore clothes that didn't fit me. I was obnoxiously smart. I was the teacher's pet. I was on the robotics team and the all-school musical. I was ridiculed, tormented. I lost my grandfather and my first pet all in the same year. I was born into a family that inherited a house in the Hamptons, we have no choice but to rent it for the height of the summer just so we can keep it. I worked in a boatyard since I was 14. I worked in a department store and in a restaurant as a bus boy. I was awkward.
People don't notice me. People use me. All my friends are everywhere but North Dakota. I am ignored at work, taken for granted and used.
I'm no different than I was in High School. I struggle to fit in and for people to like me. "No matter how much we grow taller, grow older, we are forever stumbling, forever wondering, forever....young." |
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| I'm Done |
[Oct. 28th, 2007|11:50 am] |
Well after some long thinking...about five minutes or so, I've decided that I no longer am going to go out of my way to be nice to people anymore. The people I work with are just so...what's the word I'm looking for? Fake? I mean they must assume that I am an idiot, and that I have no idea how nasty they really are. I think there is a grand total of 3 people now at the station who I know don't dislike me. (there were 5, but Hutch and Julie left)
So my newfound attitude will be all New York. I might take a page or two from the Tommie-Lyn book of how to deal with crappy people. Because it is obvious that no matter how nice I am I get nothing in return. So fine. Let's play that game. I'll be nice to your face if I actually find myself there and when I am not directly engaged in a conversation with you. You won't exist. And I look forward to the time when I can leave you people to your childish high school-ish antics that aren't duplicated to this extreme anywhere else in the United States.
And no this is not because one person at the station pissed me off, it is because of all the events that transpired last night that set me down this road. So here it is in Black and White...
The Long Islander is in Bismarck.
If you don't like me...don't be nice to me, I won't be extending you the same courtesy. |
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| ADHD - A Closer Look at a Growing Trend |
[Oct. 21st, 2007|11:17 pm] |
I had a thought the other day about ADHD. It has been on my mind lately -partly b/c I did a story on it but secondly because I have it myself. I was thinking about how it seems that so many more people a). Claim to have the disorder or b). Actually have been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.
As someone who has dealt with the social, mental and educational consequences of the disorder, I used to think that people who considered themselves active or 'hyper' automatically give themselves the ADHD label. It still bothers me for people to do a self-diagnosis, because unless they do have the disorder they have no idea what it is to lie in bed at night and not be able to fall asleep because your head won't shut up, so that you have to play a movie or music just so you can drown out the interior monologue, or give your head something else to focus on. Or what it is like to sit in a lecture and keep moving around, because you literally cannot sit still for more than 15 minutes at a clip unless you are sleeping. Or when you are reading a text book (normal books are fine because I can make up visuals to keep me on track) and you can't get through one 10 page chapter in under an hour because every time your brain makes a connection with a random word it goes off on a series of thoughts -your eyes keep seeing the words and goes through the motions but there is no retention. You get to the end of a paragraph or a chapter and you seriously have no idea what you just read.
This is what life has been like for me...my brain and body in constant motion-even in sleep.
It now brings me to the thoughts I had. What if more people actually DO have ADHD? That they can't sit still, or focus on one task at a time. What if it is merely the human brain evolving with technology. I mean I can watch TV, write e-mails, forecast the weather and have a telephone conversation all at the same time. Maybe with all the available excess stimuli the human brain has started to adapt to our changing lifestyles. I am in the profession I am in because of what it entails. I have a deadline, every night. So that helps me HAVE to manage my time. I have five computers at my disposal. FIVE! One to build certain graphics on, another to look at one set of model data and the internet, another computer to get current conditions and another set of model data, another to build and run a show on, and another with the current radar loop. I have five computers to switch between in a given evening as well as a TV for background noise or whatever. So I have a job that is perfectly suited for someone suffering from ADHD.
And that is why I think that the human genome and brain is changing and evolving. (And not necessarily to help meteorologists) Because we do so much and have so much to do, and ways to do it and little time, that multi-tasking is becoming more common which might be a nicer way to say attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Think about it. |
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| Letting go, not giving up. |
[Oct. 19th, 2007|12:47 am] |
Other prospects have given way to new opportunities. What I mean is that I am letting go of any hope or desire for something better and I am going to focus on the important things. Like getting my AMS seal and getting into the American Meteorological Society -for two reasons.
1: If I get into the society that means that I can be qualified as a meteorologist, and therefore I can call myself one on-air and no one can say anything about it.
2: By getting my seal it will be uncontested that I know what I am talking about, and also make me considerably more marketable to the rest of the community and allow me to get my CBM seal (certified broadcast meteorologist seal) by taking a test.
I am going to think of Bismarck as my training ground for my professional advancement, and not like my door back into the television world. I will make the most of it here. There are people who are counting on me and think well of me being out here, far from who and what I know, and for them I am doing all I can to make it easier for me to go places and harder for people to belittle the education I got in college.
Look out world here I come! |
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| New Song |
[Oct. 13th, 2007|12:51 am] |
I won't try to philosophize
I'll just take a deep breath and I'll look in your eyes
This is how I feel
And its so so real
I got a closet filled up to the brim
With the ghosts of my past and the skeletons
And I don't know why
You'd even try
But I won't lie
You caught me off guard
Now I'm running and screaming
I feel like a hero and you are my heroine
Do you know that your love is the sweetest sin?
And I feel a weakness coming on
Never felt so good to be so wrong
Had my heart on lockdown
And then you turned me around
I'm feeling like a new born child
Every time I get a chance to see you smile
It's not complicated
I was so jaded
Check out Hero by Boys Like Girls
I think it could be my new favorite song. Is it because it seems like the lyrics are personal to me?...maybe |
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| My knee hurts. |
[Oct. 12th, 2007|12:55 am] |
It is a very good idea to take your dog for a walk.
It can also be said that it is a good idea to take your dog for a walk slightly before you want to go to bed, so that she will fall asleep faster and actually be tired.
It is a good idea to use your rollerblades while walking your dog so she has to run.
It is a good idea to go around the block on the sidewalks.
It is not a good idea to do this on a dark sidewalk.
Your dog cannot tell you that she stepped over a hose while she is pulling you full throttle.
Roller blades do not handle hoses very well.
I still know how to fall.
It is a good idea to wear protective gear.
I was not.
My knee hurts. |
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| Some nights |
[Oct. 8th, 2007|12:07 am] |
Some times when I get home from work, that one second before I unlock the door, I think about what could be on the other side. Like I open the door and come inside, take off my shoes and loosen my tie and my girlfriend/wife (whatever) is there to say hello, ask how my day was and stuff. We hang out for a little bit have a snack and then get into bed and read for a bit before going to sleep. And then I walk into my dark apartment and turn on a light and I know that I am the only one here.
It would be nice to by-pass a few of the in-between things, but then again, they could be just as fun and important as the end result. And now I am off to bed to read and hopefully get enough sleep and think about what there could possibly be to do a story on. |
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